This is wrong parenting. Stop it.

 I was playing with my boy outside of my house in common area. While we were playing, i observed that, in our neighbourhood, kids were watching cartoons in television. This was quite understood because it was afternoon and outside temperature was very high for taking the kids outside. But, after one hour of playing in common area the television was still on, which seemed very weird.

We went in, took some rest and in the evening his mother took him out in the park and i was all set to go to gym. Earlier when i observed, it was around 16:30 and now it was 19:00 and the television was still on. Now, this thing was not comprehended by me as it was too much for the little ones to sit in front of television watching cartoons continuously for several hours. 

    

I tried to find the logic behind this thing. And, i found that the reason can not be other than the comfort of parents. They can have a good time sitting and relaxing on their chairs while their kids are letting down their health by continuously focusing their eyes on television. 

This is only one incident. And there are so many around me that i see daily, which compels me to think about these people and their mentality in case of nurturing their babies. Such as, one man was scolding his 2 years old daughter who were crying a lot. He was teaching her to stay quiet and not to say a word. If she does so, only then he will listen to her and fulfil her demands. He is more than 30 and she is just 2. What is the logic in teaching her the things that even he has not learned in 30 years; to stay quiet and listen to her father. 

Learn first

 

If we want our babies to become good adults then it should be our responsibility to learn first, implement first and then teach the same things to our kids. Like if you want that your baby to reply on your first call then you must listen to your baby every time he calls you and asks you something. If you want your baby to play outside, then you should be able to take him out and play with him as much as he wants not as much as you want. If you want your baby to study then you should be in a position where you can show him the value of studying books. Because he is your reflection in every aspect. Whatever good or bad you do, he catches you from all directions. He may not understand your mood, but he can definitely observe your face and things that you do and then can adapt the same in his routine. So we all must learn first and when we ourselves become such adults which we want our kids to be, then it is good to teach them the same.

On their own

We all, undoubtedly, love our kids more than anything, but unfortunately sometimes this love makes us so blind that we start taking care of them so much that we do not want them to go outside and play because of the fear that they will fall down. We are just taking their life’s struggle from them, resulting in creating a big resistance in their growth, mentally and physically both. 

Let them fall down and then let them get up on their own. It will not only make them strong, but it will also make them work smart and help them gain confidence, which they can only gain by facing failures. Life is all about having different experiences and that will happen only when you allow yourself to face them. Same thing goes for our kids. It is a natural process and we must believe on this. 

     

What we should not do as parents

1. We should never shout on them when they are crying, because in this particular time they are reacting emotionally. So, we should also talk to them in a way which emotionally connects ourselves with our babies. After they become stable, we can talk logically and make them understand. 

1. We should not divert their focus when they are playing and on their peak in enjoying the time by telling them to study or do any other activity. It will only make them hate the thing you want them to do. Because they will have this idea that study is the one reason that stops them for playing and enjoying out with their friends. This is all a psychological game. 

1. We should neither behave ourselves in a negative way nor we should fight in front of our kids. We have mirror neurone in our body which helps us catching and learning new things. That is why all the kids, unknowingly, observe your actions that they try to copy and paste. So they will reflect whatever you show them. 

1. We should give our kids their freedom. It is not that we are just keep guiding them at every moment and keep worrying wherever they go. When they go out, we need to trust them and leave them on their own. We should definitely be standing there and watching them to indicate to our kids that we are here but not in the way which does now allow them to play joyously with fully open mind and heart. This will help them to stand on their own feet and become smart, who can take decisions on their own. This nurturing starts from the very early age; as low as 2 years old. 

1. Moreover, it is one of our topmost priority to take care of their health as they have no idea of this. Do whatever they eat is very necessary to monitor. It is us who start giving them outside food; ice creams, fast food etc. and then complain that our baby doesn’t eat anything healthy. This blame is totally on us as we are the ones who started this. So, we should practice to avoid feeding them with wrong food from very early age. 

So, stop trying to have good time by ruining your baby’s future. It is only about 1–2 years that you need to compromise for your kids and you will a very different baby.